Bump

I wake, hearing bumps in the night, terrifying!
Pictures flow through my head of the ways I’ll be dying…
First impaling then gunshot and defenestration,
Lose my head with an axe, and my joy through castration!

They’ll boil me! They’ll eat me! I’ll hang by my guts!
These night time intruders are clearly all nuts!
They need help and assistance of type Psychiatric,
I’ll never survive to an age Geriatric!

If I step out of bed they’ll remove all my toes,
If I throw off the covers, I would weakness expose,
I could try to get weapons, a club or a gun,
Shoot her cat one more time though, my girl would be done.

- From Reddit Writing Prompts, edited slightly.